What should I do if a girl whom I love asks me to be her friend?

I know this is a long answer to a simple question, but only love can inspire us to make massive changes. I am so grateful that the girl I used to love didn’t love me back because honestly it had made me the man I am today and someone who I am very proud of.

Stop playing video games - Video games are one of the biggest time wasters there is. I remember when I was feeling sorry for myself I would play 8 hours of Red Dead Redemption 2 instead of improving. In 2021 though I quit for good and have become so much better because of it.

I believe in you, let me know if you have any other question.

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She told you that she “just sees you as a friend.” So now what do you do? Simple, you cut her off. First grow some balls and tell her that “you are into her,” and that “you never wanted to be her friend,” and in the most respectful way possible say that “it is too painful to stay friends with her when you are into her and she doesn’t feel the same way.” That’s it. Then just stop talking to her. Unfollow her, don’t text her, done. This is what I did and it was so freeing. I felt good about myself for having taken a stand and I could tell she respected me a lot more for this than just being her friend when she knew I wanted more.

Start working out - Nothing will more quickly transform your life than a gym habit. You will get bigger, stronger, and more attractive, there is simply no good excuse for not working out.

Learn a new skill - Lastly, be sure to learn a new skill. For me I learned how to play the harmonica and started doing jiu jitsu, for you it can be something else. The point is to make progress towards a goal because this will lead to greater fulfillment in life and make you more interesting to other people.

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I dealt with this exact situation, but am now in a loving relationship with another girl.

I know it hurts, and its hard to deal with, but follow these steps and you will get through it.

If she see’s you as a friend don’t wait for her to change her mind. Why? Because she won’t. She might say she has, in fact the girl I loved would often confess feelings for me but then lose them the next week and be going for some other guy. You need to realize that in her mind you are a back up option. Is that what you want to be? A backup option? OF COURSE NOT! You are deserving of real unconditional love, so don’t degrade and lower your standards for a girl that won’t give it to you.

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Dress well - Your physical appearance is more important than you think. Stop wearing old T-shirts and grubby hoodies and sweatpants. Get some nice shirts and pants and get a good hair cut, it will make a massive difference.

Mistake #3 - Feeling sorry for myself instead of improving

Become educated - Now that you aren’t spending all your time on video games and social media it is time to pick up a book and start reading. Whether fiction or non-fiction it doesn’t matter, just start reading, and watch as you become smarter than you thought possible.

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Mistake #2 - Staying Friends

When I first cut things off I wasted a lot of time feeling sorry for myself instead of becoming better and moving on. So, now that your time won’t be taken up thinking and fantasizing about this girl who doesn’t love you, it is time to become better. You need to become someone that girls won’t immediately put into the friend zone category, heres how you do that.

Here are the mistakes I made, and what I would have done differently given what I know today

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

Mistake #1 - Waiting

Use social media for posting not consuming - Social media is awful. TikTok is all just soft core porn, Instagram is brain rot and soft core porn, and Snapchat is pointless, stop taking photos of yourself and grow up. The only thing you should use social media for is creating a dope portfolio of your life that people will see and go “damn I want to be friends with that guy.” Don’t consume content, create it.

Stop watching porn - Here is a link to a full framework on how to quit porn Nic Moran (@NicolasCMoran) on X

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